Lore Master's Study
After long study and many hours of meditation, the Loremaster has uncovered the "rules" if you will, of dealing with guy/girl relationships.
1. The Female always makes the rules.
2. The rules are subject to change at anytime without prior notification.
3. No male can possible know all the rules.
4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules she must immediately change some or all of the rules.
5. The Female is never wrong.
6. If the female is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding, which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
7. If rule 6 applies the male must apologize immediately for causing the afore said misunderstanding.
8. The female may change her mind at any time.
9. The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.
10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
12. The female must, under no circumstance, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset...until afterward.
13. The male is expected to mind read at all times
14. The female is ready when she is ready.
15. The male must be ready at all times
Loremasterr's things to do at holiday family get togethers.
Freaking out your family can be almost as fun as freaking out your college roommate. The best part is you can blame your insanity on your roommate!
When chatting with one of your family memebers, show rapt attentiont to what they are
telling you, continue to lean farther and farther foreward as they speak, until your head
touches the table. Lay there and snore peacefully.
Storm about the house late at night muttering to yourself "Mustn't fall asleep, that's
when the sugar-plumbs get you!
Take all the candy canes in the house and bury them. If asked, shout "They had it coming!"
Tell your father that you believe you are being stalked by elves.
Run around the house and lock all the doors and windows chanting "Santa Clause is coming
to town"
When one of your older family members corners you to tell you something, raise your hands
to stop them and say "I'm not gay, I don't care what they told you."
Pick up the phone and seem to listen intently for a moment, then ask "Can we get blood
out of that?" Then look around you, hang up the phone and disappear into another room.
The Loremaster’s list of things to do at college.
Cover you mouth with your hand every time you speak to anyone.
Carry an unplugged phone with you and from time to time act like someone has called you.
Move your mouth when you are silent, but try to keep your lips as still as you can while speaking.
(When dealing with a room mate) Write his name one twenty or more sheets of paper and leave them around the room…when he says something about it, claim you didn’t write them.
Apologize to your teacher, when he asks why tell him that he should know better then you.
Hide all of your underwear in with your roommate’s things, then accuse him of stealing.
Put your mattress underneath your bed. Sleep down under there and pile your dirty clothes on the empty bedframe. If your roommate comments, mutter "Gotta save space," twenty times while twitching violently.
Tell your class that it is your birthday…do this for two weeks.
Carry a chia pet with you.
Hang stuffed animals from the ceiling in nooses, when ever you walk past them mutter, “You shouldn’t have done that to me.”
Everytime you wake up, run around your room saying “Who am I?” then go back to bed. If your roommate asks about this deny it happened.
Get to your class early and glue your shoes to the ceiling. Lay on the floor with your feet in the air and when your teacher comes in moan loudly and hold your head.
Start calling one of your friends “Clyde” by mistake. Over the next few weeks start doing that more often. When this is brought to your attention, say “Sorry Murray, if won’t happen again.
Draw a chalk out line of a body on your class room floor. When people come in quickly say “Don’t worry it’s not what you think!” Then refuse to talk about it
Invite the Dean to a sleepover.
Loremaster's Soundtracks
Tears by Moonlight
Rest In Peices by Saliva
My December by Linkin Park
Seeing Red by Unwritten Law
Running away by Hoobastank
Death on the snowfield
Fine again by Seether
Always by Saliva
Lift it by Thousand Foot Krutch
Day that I die (accoustic) By Good Charlotte
Storm by Lifehouse
Quiet Anger
Breathe by Greenwheel
Bother by Stonedsour
Pushing Me Away by Linkin Park
Running Away by Hoobastank
Seeing red by Unwritten law
Numb by Disturbed
When in Doubt by Thousand Foot Krutch
Superman by Five for Fighting
Lift it by Thousand Foot Krutch
Always by Saliva
Dark College Soundtrack
Machine Head by Bush
Beyond the Dark Life by Daisuke Ishiwatari
By Myself by Linkin Park
Numb by Disturbed
Quasimodo by Lifehouse
Inocent By Fuel
My Own Prison by Creed
Duck and Run by Three Doors Down
Runaway and Place for my head by linkin Park
Stupify and Voices by Disturbed
Blood in my eyes (I am not sure who did this one)
The Game by Disturbed
In the End by Linkin Park